tomorrow is my birthday party despite my birthday being on the 22nd. im very excited. i almost feel like i screwed up the universe by making it to 17.
i was absolutley supposed to die at 16. when i was 12 i told myself i wouldnt make it past 16 & here i am. it feels like im going against a very long-held promise to myself &
its weird. but my future holds lots, good & bad. im a little more eager to find out this year than i was last year. but that may just be the entrance of niko into my life.
whatever my future holds, it will include him. & thats enough stability to last me a long while. although. i am ten times more as anger-filled as i was last year. well.. in a way.
it was around this time last year i was dipping into the . nazism. please.. so embarrasing.. but.. that did make me a lot angrier than i needed to be. but now im not angry at people,
just the world and the way it works. its always been like that, but now ive stopped pretending that its someone in particular's fault.