HAHA good afternoon neocities! ive been meaning to write for so long but this mornings events rly topped it off. did i tell you i killed a baby mole?! dont think so.
well i did! at least i think it was a mole. it was a baby something anyway. but i found it in my driveway a few weeks ago, it didnt even have its eyes open. it couldnt walk &
was clearly dying. i rolled it into the grass to let it die but once i got in the house it struck me that this was the perfect opportunity to collect some tiny bones. the dahmer influence
is alive folks. i dont live according the man, but id be fucking him over if i didnt give him the credit of putting certain things in my head. never been super inclined to any sort of
cannibalism, but the killing/collecting of small animals for their bones stems from him alone. and the intrusive necrophilia thoughts but thaaaat is for another day!! anywho i put him in
a little jar & drowned him in rubbing alcohol. why does blood come out of mammals noses when they die? i think thats neat, especially when its in liquid and you can see the blood
swirl around. i covered majority of its body in rubbing alcohol & put the lid on the jar. then i put him upstairs in my suitcase pocket with all my other contraband. stayed there for a
few weeks as i previously mentioned. but today. HEH. today.. i opennn him up ))))))) my dad slept in a little so i figured why not. i didnt want it to start rotting. rubbing alcohol preserves
things but not for long. it was only 70% alcohol i believe. so i grab my Mole Jar & my 100pc pack of razors i got off amazon.. i go downstairs. i put on some gloves & a mask for
dramatic effect. this is a medical procedure after all! & i begin. (note an extra five minutes of staring in the mirror like 'you are insane. you are very odd. you are dangerous and sexy.')
i start in the middle of it, as straight as i can, down the center of its chest. the sound of fur ripping is cool. i thought it was the skin but it obviously wasnt because it took a few
cuts to actually open it. turns out things have multiple layers of skin. plus the fact it was a baby and not done growing/developing yet. first thing i hit was its intestines i think.
i say i THINK because it is a tiny animal with tiny organs and i couldnt tell if it was just a stringy piece of clotted blood or if i was disembowling it. always wanted to disembowl
something though! i think the intestines, stomach & liver all came out at once. again i couldnt tell the difference, everything is tiny and bloody. once i got the lower half of its body emptied
i kinda went into my little trance & just gutted the rest of it. actually managed to turn it inside out. i get blood on my hands & black out LOL silly little mila facts. long story short, baby
animal bones are VERY fragile and WILL break if youre trying to violently rip skin & meat off of them. who knew this baby mole had so much MEAT on him i stg. between skin & muscle
& whatever, you can imagine how hard it was to pinpoint any bones. and when it was hard/sharp enough to identify as bone, i broke most of them. i ended up getting a good section of ribcage
& spine. three limbs & two very small pieces of the skull. upset i broke the skull. the skin on the head is a lot harder to separate from bone than the rest of the body. like.. the cheek skin. the
whisker area was so difficult to get off the face bones. that was how i broke the skull, at some point i stopped trying to cut it & just ripped it off. and it went crunch. i was like ah fuck. OH but
i did manage to get the jaw!! the top & bottom of it, his tongue is still there too. freaky lookin. ok so i took a break from writing this and lost my words but.. i wanted to say that while i was
cleaning it all up, my dad woke up & needed to use the bathroom. I WAS NOT DONE YET. I HAVE SOAP IN THE SINK. A MASK ON. A PACK OF RAZORS. A BOTTLE OF
RUBBING ALCOHOL. AND A JAR OF SMALL BODY PARTS. YOU CANNOT USE THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW. luckily (??) i had a plastic bag with me & basically swept it
all in the bag at once. but of course things couldnt go THAT smoothly. my pack of razors missed the bag & all 99 of them spilled onto the floor. i couldnt get them all picked up since
my dad was practically yelling his way into the bathroom. so i left a bunch of them on the floor. and he ALMOST left the bathroom without questioning it. but he was like whatre
all these little papers. & i was like idk i was throwing them away, what are they. so he unwraps one. & hes like OH. Great! whered you get these mila? & my panic reaction is always to
act clueless but that doesnt work well with my dad. i said idk what youre talking about what are they. (theyre razors). so the quickest thing i could come up with was '??? are they yours????
if i had razors id be using them.' & i showed him i have no new cuts. i said if i KNEW i HAD them id be USING them. but he was all pissy and just stormed back off to bed. a few hours later
he woke up to smoke n i was like 'ok yeah i stole them from somewhere a long time ago and i forgot i had them there. i was trying to throw them away without you knowing because of this
exact conversation. Yes i had them. I Forgot. I am not CUTting Againaggf motehfucekrs WHY DO YOU CAAAAARE IF I BLEED A LITTLE EVERY ONCE INA WHILE FOR MY
OWN AMUSEMENT. cant wait until i dont have to check in with my dad about that. it is 5pm now idek what im talking about anymore. my dog is so annoying. theres people outside
because the weather is nice & he will not shut up about it. ive been eating too much lately. not today though. we have an entire freezer full of salmon & healthy meals so im gonna try to
eat only those until theyre gone. theyre actually really tasty most of the time. i dont think i use the word tasty often, that felt weird. tasty. thats an uncomfortable word. jesus christ im going to
gut my dog next. please stop making noise. this is why cats. ugh i cant wait to have cats with my boyfriend so they can look out the big window in our house facing the mountains.
ohhhhhhhhh....oh i need a job. i am saving all my money i am never spending money. i need to get out of ohiooo..hhjhnhnh i play minecraft now